Categorized | Opinion

Funny Testimony

By David Peel

As an injury lawyer, I have heard (and even asked) some dumb questions.  The problem with testimony is that everything is being written down, word for word.  You cannot escape the words.
The other day, a lawyer deposing my client asked if “she remembered losing consciousness following the accident?”  Not surprisingly, she did not.  Another asked if my client, “had returned to the doctor since she had last seen the doctor?”
The courthouse questions that follow have been passed around for years.  I think you will find that lawyers everywhere sometime ask dumb questions, or get really funny answers:

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.

Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk, in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.

Peel seeks justice for those injured in car accidents, work place incidents, medical malpractice, and nursing homes. He often addresses churches, clubs and groups without charge. Peel may be reached through PeelLawFirm.com wherein other articles may be accessed.
— What do you think? Send Letters to the Editor to thomas.sellers@journalinc.com.

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