Categorized | Opinion

How to drive in Memphis

By David Peel

David Peel1. Mississippi and Arkansas residents do not feel they must follow Memphis traffic rules. It is unknown if they realize they are even in Tennessee.

2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00 am to noon. The evening rush hour is from noon to 7 p.m. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

3. The minimum acceptable speed on I-240 is 80 mph. On I-40 and I-55, get into the right lane if you’re only going to go ten miles over the posted speed limit as you are slowing everyone down.

4. Memphis has its own version of traffic rules but no one understands what the HOV lanes are really designed for.

5. If you actually stop at a yellow light or stop sign, you may be rear-ended, honked at, cussed out, and possibly shot.

6. But you NEVER honk at anyone. Ever. Seriously. It’s another offense that can get you shot.

7. Road construction is permanent and continuous. Detour barrels are moved around for your entertainment pleasure during the middle of the night to make the next day’s driving a bit more exciting.
Generally, city roads, including the main streets, have more potholes than most dirt roads in the countryside. The right lane of Poplar has big drains that are used as a GM test track for car suspensions.

8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as drunks, possums, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, furniture, cats, mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, cooler lids, boxes and crows.

9. Be aware that there is a huge difference between North Parkway East, East Parkway, East Parkway South, South Parkway, and South Parkway West.  Do not be surprised when these streets intersect.

10. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder immediately to let them know it has been “accidentally activated”. (Never mind, no one knows what a turn signal is.)

11. Highway 14 is Austin Peay. But it’s also Jackson Avenue. Many street names change inexplicably.

12. Downtown Memphis is comprised of a couple of one-way streets. For some, the only way to get out of downtown Memphis is to turn around and start over when you reach Arkansas or Mississippi.

13. I-240 and I-55 is called “malfunction Junction.” Where the construction is on Canada Road and I-40 I believe would be most appropriately be known as “the east parking lot.”

Peel seeks justice for those injured in car accidents, medical malpractice, and nursing homes. He often addresses churches, clubs and groups without charge. Peel may be reached through wherein other articles may be accessed.
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One Response to “How to drive in Memphis”

  1. MamaChitChatChitterling says:

    Hilarious and too true!


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June 2016
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