By Thomas Sellers Jr.
Some names in history are notorious.
Then there are other monikers that are hard to live up to. If my last name was King, I wouldn’t want my mother or father to name me Martin Luther.
The epithet Teddy shouldn’t be followed by Bundy, Roosevelt or Ruxpin. Being a Thomas, I have to deal with well-known phrases like “Tomfoolery, Peeping Tom, Uncle Tom, Doubting Thomas and Every Tom, Dick and Harry.”
I guess a lot of men named Thomas did crazy and illegal stuff. Then there were legendary Thomases like Brady, Cruise, Selleck, Paine, Jefferson, Eliot and Edison. So when my parents gave me the name Thomas, they knew it was a 50/50 chance I would either be a decent citizen or be one step from jail.
Names are one of the most important things your parents will ever give you. A name is important because it can determine your projection in life.
Certain names can inspire a child to greatness like Elizabeth, LeBron or Michael. Then some monikers are symbols of strength like Ethan, Liam, Aila or Brianna.
But a majority of names are a toss up like John, Chris, Christina, Erica, Mark and of course Thomas. But below are my top 10 names we shouldn’t give children anymore because either they are too notorious or will be hard to live up to. Let’s jump into them.
- Rosemary
This wonderful herb is a well-known name as well. And it’s beautiful and classy. When I hear the name Rosemary, I think of sweet women who are hard working. But in the back of mind, the most famous Rosemary had a baby in 1968.
No longer do most U.S. Americans think the name “rosemary” derives from Latin ros marinus which means dew of the sea. We think of the psychological horror film starting Mia Farrow.
I bet every Rosemary since the release of that movie heard the joke during her pregnancy, “Is that the devil’s baby?” Maybe a few of the mothers-to-be joking replied “Oh, yeah!” - The Golden Girls
(Sophia, Dorothy, Rose and Blanche)
I love these characters and “The Golden Girls” is one of the best TV shows of all time. But those four names are more on the older side these days. And if you carry one of those monikers, the first thing people will say is “Thank you for being a friend!”
Save your daughters the trouble of having to live up to the sarcasm of Dorothy. They won’t have the Southern charm of Blanche. The wittiness of Sophia is hard to live up to. And Betty White has taken the name Rose and made it her own. - Keyser
Once again another fictional character ruining a name for us all. Next up is Keyser Söze from “The Usual Suspects.” He is the main antagonist of the film, Keyser was the devil on earth. Now the rocking chair is infamous and the Kaiser roll is looking to change the punctuation of its name. - Tequila
For some reason the most popular adult beverage from Mexico became a trendy girl’s name in the 1990s. I just couldn’t name my daughter after some thing that has a worm in it and that is passed around frequently at college parties.
I don’t think my little Tequila will be inspiring to be a lawyer, doctor or CEO of a honorable company. In fact, don’t name any of your children (girls or boys) after liquor. It’s just not cute. - Hannibal
With the name Hannibal, you think of war. Hannibal was a Carthaginian general and statesman who commanded Carthage’s main forces against the Roman Republic during the Second Punic War. He is widely considered one of the greatest military commanders in world history.
Then there is Hannibal from the 1980s TV show “The A-Team.” He was the cool leader of the four-man vigilante group.
Now the name Hannibal is notorious because of the last name Lecter. “Hannibal” was a short-lived TV series based off the insane character from the classic movie “Silence of the Lambs.” Now when I hear the name Hannibal, I just hope he doesn’t want to have me over for dinner. - Damien
Rosemary gave that child a name. And once that moniker was spoken, no other baby should ever have that name Damien. It’s the name of the devil baby. Once his eyes confirmed his status, that child should be the last Damien on earth.
And of course if you do decide to name your son Damien, don’t get mad at the other children for singing the chant. They go hand and hand. - Adolph
Back in the early 20th century the Adolph name was pretty cool. Guys like Reed, Coors, Rupp, Zukor, Murie, Eichmann and Gottlieb made it notable. But there was one dude that ruined it for them all and any Adolph to come after.
Say hello to Mr. Hitler. Now I think about it, I haven’t meet any Hitlers in my lifetime. But the American rapper Young Dolph’s government name is Adolph Thornton. So there are a few Adolphs in the world. But Hitler put a nasty stain on that name forever. I guess when you start a world war, single out a group of people for death and try to conquer the world, you might leave a negative image in history. - Jesus
Our Lord is known by many monikers like “King of Kings,” “The Mighty One,” “Savior,” “The Great Redeemer,” and “The Holy One” just to name a few. But in recent years some parents have been daring enough to name their children Immanuel or Messiah. Those two names carry a lot of pressure but not to the magnitude of Jesus.
Besides the standard the child has to follow, the main reason not to name your child Jesus is because one day you will get mad at your child. You will be prepared to say some nasty, unruly things to the little human. Then you are cursing Jesus. That’s not a good look and it is kind of breaking the third commandment. - Corona
The year 2020 has retired any chance of a girl being named Corona. By the year 2026, I don’t care if an adorable little child is walking into Kindergarten excited about starting school. Once I read the name Corona on the roll, I’m going to make a few jokes.
Hopefully by then we would have survived the coronavirus and the vaccine would have been a part of the Kindergarten’s back to school process. But we will still need a little time away from the name Corona. As for the longtime beer, sales did deep in the early part of the year. Once a person likes a certain liquor, they will eventually come back for more. - Karen
Welcome to the club Karen — when your name symbolizes something negative in society. The name Thomas has been a part of memes before there were memes. Now a woman named Karen has to live with being a nosy snitch.
Now Karen is a term which means a woman perceived as entitled or demanding beyond the scope of what is appropriate or necessary. Karen is now a stereotype for a white woman who uses her “privilege” to demand her own way at the expense of others. She will pull out a phone in a heartbeat to get a situation to her liking.
The past four years has been building up to the name Karen being bestowed upon all the white women who were recorded on their phones, chasing down a manager or being nosy in a public venue.
All I know Becky is just glad Karen has taken over the lexicon of America during the Year of Corona. And forever any past, present or future Karen will be associated with this new meaning.
THOMAS SELLERS JR. is the editor of The Millington Star and both the sports editor and a weekly personal columnist for West 10 Media/Magic Valley Publishing. Contact him by phone at (901) 433-9138, by fax to (901) 529-7687 and by email to [email protected].
