By David Peel
I wish I could remember who shared these with me so I could fully give them credit. But I learned a few questions to ask that I consider some of the best questions to ask someone.
Career: when people are together, especially guys, conversations often start with “What do you do?”
And generally, there’s a little follow up and listen to particularly interesting thing. So, for instance, if the guy explained that he was a CIA operative, you’d probably ask follow-up questions about that to see what you could learn about this real life James Bond.
But what if he says he’s an executive chef? I mean you know what an executive chef does. so here’s a follow up to ask when someone mentions their career: “What might surprise me about your experience?”
There’s something important that happens, because the person now actually gives us some thought since they understand that you understand what it is to be an executive chef, or an accountant, or a DEA agent, at least in principal. They scan their career for something that would surprise you. Generally it’s appreciated when someone takes such an interest in someone’s life.
Answers to that question have provided me with insights into all kinds of industries, opportunities, businesses, and even got me great recipe tips and great stories.
There is another great question that has broken bureaucratic log jams, made me money, saved me time, and most importantly has made my clients money.
When faced with someone telling you “No,” I often ask: “ I know you want to be helpful and at the same time you have rules that you have to follow, but is there anything that I could provide you that would help you help me?”
Many times that opens up a door to getting something done that I would’ve been unaware of.
I real life example of this was after my father passed away, I ran by the post office to have his mail forwarded to my house since I was going to be keeping utilities on, etc. A very nice postal clerk explained that the change of address would have to be signed by my father. I again explained that my father was in a funeral home, and would be unable to sign henceforth. It seems we were at an impasse.
Then I remembered this question. And I said “I know you want to be helpful but I know you have a whole bunch of rules you have to follow to avoid getting in trouble. Is there anything I could provide you that would help you help me?
She said that if I had power of attorney I could do it. Now I knew that powers of Atty die when the person dies. And I even explained that. And she said it didn’t matter that if there was a power of attorney marked, she could do it.
So I went and got a totally invalid power of attorney out of my truck, and she was happy to process the change of address.
The other alternative would’ve been to have neighbors bundle up mail, gushing out of a mailbox every week and ship it all to me from Arkansas. Again, it doesn’t make sense to us.
It has to make sense to rule followers who have to check a box. So much of life is that way with the interactions we have now.
I truly hope these two questions help you as you navigate this new world.
